I'm very good at getting myself into awkward situations. Usually, these come about by my own doing. But recently I'd thought I'd be avoiding needlessly awkward situations forever, since I've been working really hard to stop being such an awkward kid all the time. Unfortunately, I didn't seem to realize that other people can make awkward situations awkward just as well as I can.
Rewind a little bit.
Saturday night I went clubbing for the first time ever (as well as the first time at this particular club in the town my university is in). It was a ton of fun! I got asked to dance by one guy, but I had no clue who he was, he was intoxicated, and he wasn't even cute. So I rejected him, much to the amusement of my friends. I also kind of danced with my friend. For the purposes of this, we'll call him Jay.
Now, Jay is purely a friend at this point. I met him like a month ago (along with all my other awesome university friends). Even with this fact, I wasn't bothered when we started dancing (dancing at a club is usually nasty grinding, luckily me and my friends aren't into that so it was a much more tame form of grinding that is mostly just moving back and forth to the music). I have a lot of guy friends back home who I'm not afraid to touch and who I don't mind touching me (in non-sexual ways) so I wasn't bothered when Jay's hands were suddenly on my waist.
A quick explanation: it was very crowded in the club. I was very close to all of my friends, as well as everyone else there. The forces of crowded dance floors made it so that I was dancing directly in front of Jay, with my back to him. I was also dancing very closely to my friend Annie (we could have very easily hugged without moving at all).
Anyways. Jay's hands on my waist. Didn't bother me at all, since again, I'm used to having guys touch me (in non-sexual ways). I could tell he was pretty tentative about where his hands were, since every once and a while they would not be on my waist and then sometimes they would. Again, didn't really bother me. He seems like a pretty shyish guy, very nice, probably concerned about the situation since he never actually asked me to dance or anything. Again, I wasn't bothered at all.
The awkward came later.
We were walking back from the club with the group we went with and I recieve a text. Said text was from Jay "sincerely apologizing" if anything he did made me feel uncomfortable. The awkward began to set it, but not so much. Nice guy, wanted to be sure I didn't feel weird (I feel like I probably give off the impression that that would make me feel uncomfortable). I assured him it didn't, yet he texted back that he "felt really bad" and was sorry. A little more awkward now.
A good bit later.
His status shows up on my facebook feed. Something like "well tonight was a true display of hypocrisy..." right after we had come back from the club. This leaves me to believe that I may have done something to make him weird out, or he has some sort of strange crush on me.
Situation quickly propelled into full on awkward.
I know this shouldn't make me feel awkward, and I'm probably overreacting (most certainly, he probably doesn't have a crush on me. I tend to doubt boys find me attractive in that way.). But still. I don't have a crush on Jay. At least I didn't. Thinking he could have a crush on me makes me feel conflicted and weird. He's a nice guy, really nice. And smart. But it would potentially make our group of friends really awkward. And I don't want to do that. I like my friends.
So now, I'm feeling all awkward and stuff. Hoping it goes away soon, and things go back to normal.
That's all.
-Lauren-
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