Yup. Thought I had gotten over you Schmitty. I thought those days of whining and being jealous about Kati and Emily were over but I guess not.
Thank you David Moore for being a complete ass and making me bring these feelings back up. You really are a swell guy. Player. Creep Ass.
But alas, the crush is back. I'm trying to make myself remember and focus on the fact that this is only a crush. I'm not in love with you. I've not dated you, or even really been close to dating you. But I do like you. I like you a considerable amount.
Maybe you'll come back for the marines and realize you like me too? Maybe my obnoxiousness didn't completely turn you off? Maybe every other girl will just be turned off by your marine-ness and I'll be the only girl left.
Maybe I'm just fooling myself.
-Lauren-
Monday, November 1, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Fuck You, Jeff
Fuck you.
You screwed me up. I can't freakin' bear to admit it, but you screwed me up real good. You should be so freakin' proud of yourself.
I can't be a normal person when around guys I'm attracted to anymore. I have to be this obnoxious crazy person who locks up in social situations as simple as calling someone on the phone. We used to talk on the phone. All the time. For hours and hours. Maybe that's why I can't fucking call people on the phone.
I want to be normal. I want him to know and like the normal Lauren. Not the crazy Lauren. No one likes the crazy Lauren because she can't handle herself. She has problems that the world doesn't want to see.
When the world sees crazy Lauren's problems they run away like you did. They stop being her friend just because they don't like her anymore. It doesn't matter that people can be regular friends if one doesn't like the other in a romantic way. You just had to go and dump me, all of me, because you just felt like it.
Now I'm terrified of being dumped like that again. So I'm obnoxious. And naggy. And I hate it. I fucking hate it Jeff. Why the hell did you have to do this to me? Couldn't you have picked another girl to completely screw over? Someone who could actually handle it?
I hate how this still affects me. I thought it was over. Maybe it will never be over.
-Lauren-
You screwed me up. I can't freakin' bear to admit it, but you screwed me up real good. You should be so freakin' proud of yourself.
I can't be a normal person when around guys I'm attracted to anymore. I have to be this obnoxious crazy person who locks up in social situations as simple as calling someone on the phone. We used to talk on the phone. All the time. For hours and hours. Maybe that's why I can't fucking call people on the phone.
I want to be normal. I want him to know and like the normal Lauren. Not the crazy Lauren. No one likes the crazy Lauren because she can't handle herself. She has problems that the world doesn't want to see.
When the world sees crazy Lauren's problems they run away like you did. They stop being her friend just because they don't like her anymore. It doesn't matter that people can be regular friends if one doesn't like the other in a romantic way. You just had to go and dump me, all of me, because you just felt like it.
Now I'm terrified of being dumped like that again. So I'm obnoxious. And naggy. And I hate it. I fucking hate it Jeff. Why the hell did you have to do this to me? Couldn't you have picked another girl to completely screw over? Someone who could actually handle it?
I hate how this still affects me. I thought it was over. Maybe it will never be over.
-Lauren-
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
My Parents
My parents are lovely people who are made of awesome. I don't know if I could ever put into words how they have impacted my life. They've loved me and supported me through everything.
Mom and Dad, thank you for always being there and never doubting my dreams.
Love,
Lauren
Mom and Dad, thank you for always being there and never doubting my dreams.
Love,
Lauren
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Teaser Tuesday MADNESS
Ahem, pardon the caps please. I'm unreasonably energetic about doing this blog post, since it's productivity potential is rather high.
Let's get this Teaser out of the way first. You may think I'm an awful person for this, but I adore this bit. I just wrote it yesterday. It's not very good writing wise, but plot wise I love it. A lot.
Some quick background: Natura has married... gasp... Rigel! She's done it mostly because her father wants her to marry him, he actually just wants her to marry anyone. He'd be reasonably fine if he died without seeing her married, so long as she's happy. But Natura is too deeply rooted in her desire to please her dying father that she goes ahead and marries anyways.
Unfortunately, the marriage doesn't turn out as she expected when she arrives at their new home (several days of travel on horseback away from Parcel, her home village).
TEASER
END TEASER
Perhaps I'm sadicious. But this is such a great scene in my mind. Maybe it's just because it plunges the story into a place where actiony things happen more often than they had been previously.
Anyways. I've reached 25,308 words which is 41 pages in microsoft word. That's just over half of a NaNoWriMo novel. How epic is this? I have hope that I'll have this draft done by christmas. Plus, now that we're into the action it's a lot more exciting to write. Not that I didn't like writing before, but high-tension action scenes equals more words in what seems like less time than the more calm regular life scenes do which makes for a happy word count.
Not much going on in my real life. Just trying to figure out if I want to study abroad, and where/when I want to do that. And what's the best fit for my major(s).
Oh yeah, and I also have to figure out how to go about declaring a second major. Three cheers for being a double english major! (Creative Writing and English Literature! Woot!).
Other than that today has been pretty blah. Cold and cloudy, plus Tuesdays are my hell days. But I get to go home on thursday and see Meghan and Nina and Leah and Schmitty. So that's exciting.
!Bonus Blog Post!
I Need To Stop Phsycoanalyzing Myself
So I had this dream last night. I'm pretty sure my subconscious is trying to tell me things, and has been trying to tell me things for a long time now. Really. I have some crazy dreams all the time. Really specific dreams. Never had it dawned on me to actually think about what these dreams might mean until today.
I should never, ever try to do that again.
Let's backtrack a bit. Here's the dream.
I was with my friend Meghan in a building that was either a hotel or a residence hall at a university. We were wandering down the halls, trying to find my friend Schmitty because we needed to (the reason didn't become apparent until later).
We come to this door, which appeared from the hallway to be just another door to a dorm room. But we opened it and went inside, only to suddenly be in a giant park. Like, outside. It was really sunny and a good, warm temperature, and the grass was green and nice and happy.
Then we see Schmitty and automatically know why we had to find him. Apparently, Emily (his ex-girlfriend) was there somewhere and if he so much as looked at her he would disappear. So Meghan and I had to go and stop him from seeing her so he wouldn't disappear. Since, you know, disappearing is bad.
So we run up to him and try to distract him by talking to him and not letting him look at Emily (who had appeared right behind us). But he looked at her! When he disappeared, it was like we saw his name disappear from a userlist like in a chatroom. So, logically (as logically as a dream can be) we just had to refresh the page and he would appear and we would have to repeat the whole stop him from looking at Emily thing.
But he kept goddamn looking at her!
Finally I got fed up with him disappearing. I mean, I didn't want him to disappear! It was really stressful and emotionally draining to watch this guy I care a lot for disappear because of crazy bitch-witch Emily.
So I'm like sitting behind him hugging him and leaning over his shoulder talking to him and trying to stop him from looking back at Emily, but he keeps trying. So, I kiss him.
That seemed to do the trick. Or at least, it broke whatever curse Emily had put on him to make him disappear when he looked at her because after we stopped kissing he turns to her and starts talking to her like I'm not there. And this is, more or less, how the conversation went.
Schmitty: Emily
Emily: Corey (aka Schmitty's real name)
Schmitty: I don't know...
Emily: I've been looking for you.
Schmitty: I know. I can't deal with this. She (meaning me) just kissed me.
Me: Excuse me, but you definitely kissed me back.
Emily: *scathing look of disapproval directed at the entire world*
Schmitty: I like you both. But Emily, you're going to the dominican republic and I can't do debate team there.
....Yeah. I know the conversation didn't make much sense. I'm probably forgetting most of it, especially the stuff at the beginning. Also, I pretty much spent the whole time glaring at Emily because she wanted to make Schmitty disappear because she's an evil witch.
Anyways. Then Schmitty gets up and leaves the park. He goes to his room at the hotel/residence hall and locks himself there. I go to my own room, only to find Courtney (my roommate) has moved the bunks into the center of the room and Maria is alseep in what was supposed to be Courtney's bed. So I go out in the hallway, because I feel bad that Schmitty got so upset about the park and I want to buy him some candy from the vending machine.
In the hallway, one of his friends (who actually doesn't exist in real life, he was one of those dream placeholder people if you get what I mean) is in the hall trying to talk to him through the door. Apparently he was really moody/depressed about what went down in the park.
So I leave to go buy him some reeses from a vending machine with plans to tape them to his door so he can have them when he comes back out.
Yeah. Then I spent all day trying to analyze the dream, and therefore phsycoanalyze myself. Apparently, I dislike Emily (already knew that bit) and am deeply concerned that if Schmitty keeps hanging out with her she will steal him from the world and they'll start dating again (I mean really, what normal person continues to hang out with their ex all the time even after they break up?? If you still want to be around them, don't break up!). So anyways, Schmitty will in a sense "disappear" from my life (aka my love life) because Emily is a meanie and he should like me better anyways because I'm so much more exciting than she is and I'm made of awesome.
And then somehow I broke into a tangent of how I always get attached to a guy and it doesn't work out and then I can't detach myself so I spend a year and a half pining for him until he completely stops talking to me because I'm crazy and then I lose a close friend and am completely screwed up for the rest of forever.
Thank you, Jeff.
Bringing back those memories and feelings doesn't exactly do much for my mental health. I'm not even exagerating. Maybe sometime I'll go more in depth onto how screwed up my emotional/love life is. It's fun stuff.
Well this blog entry is long enough. Bye.
-Lauren-
Let's get this Teaser out of the way first. You may think I'm an awful person for this, but I adore this bit. I just wrote it yesterday. It's not very good writing wise, but plot wise I love it. A lot.
Some quick background: Natura has married... gasp... Rigel! She's done it mostly because her father wants her to marry him, he actually just wants her to marry anyone. He'd be reasonably fine if he died without seeing her married, so long as she's happy. But Natura is too deeply rooted in her desire to please her dying father that she goes ahead and marries anyways.
Unfortunately, the marriage doesn't turn out as she expected when she arrives at their new home (several days of travel on horseback away from Parcel, her home village).
TEASER
“Shall we see the inside?” Rigel suggested, breaking into her thoughts. He stood beside her horse, his hand held up to her.
She took it and let him help her down. They walked to the front door of the cottage together, Rigel a step behind her. The cottage had an old wooden porch that creaked under her weight, but it was a lovely sound.
Natura grasped the old brass doorknob and slowly opened the door, stepping inside.
“Hello, there.” A familiar young woman, with strong arms typical of Rivalon women leaned against the opposite wall. An elegant young woman with silver hair that waterfalled over her shoulders sat in a chair at the kitchen table.
Natura’s chest tightened and she took a panicked step backwards, only to back right against Rigel. He wrapped an arm around her, restraining her arms, and pressed a damp cloth over her mouth and nose with his other hand.
She gasped for air, inhaling deeply whatever was soaking the cloth. It made her feel lightheaded, and her vision blurred for a moment. She fought to keep control of herself, and struggled against Rigel’s grip.
Grena smirked at her, her arms crossed in front of her chest. “Welcome home, Natura,” she said.
Natura’s legs wobbled under her, threatening to give out, but Rigel held her up. She fought to maintain focus on the room, on what was happening. She needed to be able to react, to be able to protect herself. Her thoughts clouded quickly, though, and she could only wonder why this was happening.
Grena watched Rigel expectantly, an eyebrow raised. “Well?”
“Can’t we—”
“No, you have to,” Grena stopped him.
Rigel let the cloth drop to the floor. Natura gasped for clean air, but it didn’t help to clear her head. Rigel moved his arms, changing how he held her against him, but she couldn’t feel her body to fight back or try to escape.
Something cool pressed against her forearm. She glanced down to her arm, Rigel held it up on one hand, and with his other held the flat side of a shiny dagger to her skin.
“There has to be—”
“Rigel,” Grena growled. “Do it. Now.”
He let out a long breath of air. Natura felt him press his face against her hair for a moment before he turned the dagger and slit her arm open. Natura gasped as blood flowed over her arm, dripping onto the floor.
Grena dumped a jar of some sort of powder onto the gash. Natura briefly wondered how she had missed Grena moving from the other side of the room to her side, and where the jar of powder had come from before her arm erupted in pain.
Natura heard her scream filling the room, but she didn’t feel her voice in her throat. Almost instantly, she could no longer feel the pain, but her scream indicated that some part of her still did.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Rigel whispered repeatedly in her ear. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Soon, Natura couldn’t even hear her own scream. She couldn’t decide if it had stopped, or if she was just dying and her ears had given out on her. Her vision blurred, and everything went black.
END TEASER
Perhaps I'm sadicious. But this is such a great scene in my mind. Maybe it's just because it plunges the story into a place where actiony things happen more often than they had been previously.
Anyways. I've reached 25,308 words which is 41 pages in microsoft word. That's just over half of a NaNoWriMo novel. How epic is this? I have hope that I'll have this draft done by christmas. Plus, now that we're into the action it's a lot more exciting to write. Not that I didn't like writing before, but high-tension action scenes equals more words in what seems like less time than the more calm regular life scenes do which makes for a happy word count.
Not much going on in my real life. Just trying to figure out if I want to study abroad, and where/when I want to do that. And what's the best fit for my major(s).
Oh yeah, and I also have to figure out how to go about declaring a second major. Three cheers for being a double english major! (Creative Writing and English Literature! Woot!).
Other than that today has been pretty blah. Cold and cloudy, plus Tuesdays are my hell days. But I get to go home on thursday and see Meghan and Nina and Leah and Schmitty. So that's exciting.
!Bonus Blog Post!
I Need To Stop Phsycoanalyzing Myself
So I had this dream last night. I'm pretty sure my subconscious is trying to tell me things, and has been trying to tell me things for a long time now. Really. I have some crazy dreams all the time. Really specific dreams. Never had it dawned on me to actually think about what these dreams might mean until today.
I should never, ever try to do that again.
Let's backtrack a bit. Here's the dream.
I was with my friend Meghan in a building that was either a hotel or a residence hall at a university. We were wandering down the halls, trying to find my friend Schmitty because we needed to (the reason didn't become apparent until later).
We come to this door, which appeared from the hallway to be just another door to a dorm room. But we opened it and went inside, only to suddenly be in a giant park. Like, outside. It was really sunny and a good, warm temperature, and the grass was green and nice and happy.
Then we see Schmitty and automatically know why we had to find him. Apparently, Emily (his ex-girlfriend) was there somewhere and if he so much as looked at her he would disappear. So Meghan and I had to go and stop him from seeing her so he wouldn't disappear. Since, you know, disappearing is bad.
So we run up to him and try to distract him by talking to him and not letting him look at Emily (who had appeared right behind us). But he looked at her! When he disappeared, it was like we saw his name disappear from a userlist like in a chatroom. So, logically (as logically as a dream can be) we just had to refresh the page and he would appear and we would have to repeat the whole stop him from looking at Emily thing.
But he kept goddamn looking at her!
Finally I got fed up with him disappearing. I mean, I didn't want him to disappear! It was really stressful and emotionally draining to watch this guy I care a lot for disappear because of crazy bitch-witch Emily.
So I'm like sitting behind him hugging him and leaning over his shoulder talking to him and trying to stop him from looking back at Emily, but he keeps trying. So, I kiss him.
That seemed to do the trick. Or at least, it broke whatever curse Emily had put on him to make him disappear when he looked at her because after we stopped kissing he turns to her and starts talking to her like I'm not there. And this is, more or less, how the conversation went.
Schmitty: Emily
Emily: Corey (aka Schmitty's real name)
Schmitty: I don't know...
Emily: I've been looking for you.
Schmitty: I know. I can't deal with this. She (meaning me) just kissed me.
Me: Excuse me, but you definitely kissed me back.
Emily: *scathing look of disapproval directed at the entire world*
Schmitty: I like you both. But Emily, you're going to the dominican republic and I can't do debate team there.
....Yeah. I know the conversation didn't make much sense. I'm probably forgetting most of it, especially the stuff at the beginning. Also, I pretty much spent the whole time glaring at Emily because she wanted to make Schmitty disappear because she's an evil witch.
Anyways. Then Schmitty gets up and leaves the park. He goes to his room at the hotel/residence hall and locks himself there. I go to my own room, only to find Courtney (my roommate) has moved the bunks into the center of the room and Maria is alseep in what was supposed to be Courtney's bed. So I go out in the hallway, because I feel bad that Schmitty got so upset about the park and I want to buy him some candy from the vending machine.
In the hallway, one of his friends (who actually doesn't exist in real life, he was one of those dream placeholder people if you get what I mean) is in the hall trying to talk to him through the door. Apparently he was really moody/depressed about what went down in the park.
So I leave to go buy him some reeses from a vending machine with plans to tape them to his door so he can have them when he comes back out.
Yeah. Then I spent all day trying to analyze the dream, and therefore phsycoanalyze myself. Apparently, I dislike Emily (already knew that bit) and am deeply concerned that if Schmitty keeps hanging out with her she will steal him from the world and they'll start dating again (I mean really, what normal person continues to hang out with their ex all the time even after they break up?? If you still want to be around them, don't break up!). So anyways, Schmitty will in a sense "disappear" from my life (aka my love life) because Emily is a meanie and he should like me better anyways because I'm so much more exciting than she is and I'm made of awesome.
And then somehow I broke into a tangent of how I always get attached to a guy and it doesn't work out and then I can't detach myself so I spend a year and a half pining for him until he completely stops talking to me because I'm crazy and then I lose a close friend and am completely screwed up for the rest of forever.
Thank you, Jeff.
Bringing back those memories and feelings doesn't exactly do much for my mental health. I'm not even exagerating. Maybe sometime I'll go more in depth onto how screwed up my emotional/love life is. It's fun stuff.
Well this blog entry is long enough. Bye.
-Lauren-
Monday, October 4, 2010
My Crush
I've probably (no, not probably, almost definitely) mentioned him before, but anyways. My crush right now is Corey "Schmitty" Stevenson and he's different than other guys I've liked before.
The big difference is I feel completely confused, and a hundred percent out of control. With other guys I've liked, I've had this sense of control or at least I knew what was happening/where it was going. With Schmitty I only have this unreasonable hope.
I like not feeling in control. With my last boyfriend I "wore the pants" in the relationship. I was in complete and utter control, and it was the ruin of us. I'm the kind of person who craves control, but I'm also the kind of person who shouldn't be given such control. I abuse the power, then I get bored of it.
I just want to date someone who will call the shots, who will be in control of the relationship. I, of course, want some form of control (I don't want to be used) but I'd like the central control to be in the guy.
Schmitty is just different. In a good way. A very good way. He's such a strong Christian, and that's something I'd like to be myself and admire in other people. He's, for lack of a better word, a man. He's strong, honorable, and can hold his own in the world. My past boyfriends, not so much.
I just get along with Schmitty. We're a lot alike, but a lot different and that's really appealing. We have similar dreams for our lives, and though we often want different things those things fit together. I've never had a hard time being around Schmitty, and didn't have a hard time getting close to him. We haven't even really known each other for very long. We got close over the summer. Usually I have this long period of feeling awkward around guys, but never around Schmitty.
And then there's what can't be explained. There's how I just feel right when I'm around him. How I feel like he could be the one, as corny as that sounds. He's the kind of guy I can see myself marrying someday. I'm comforable with him. We get along. We're different but the same.
Schmitty, I really like you. I don't know if you'll ever know that, or if you'll ever really know what spending time with you this summer meant to me. I wish you the best of luck as you enter the marines. I'm so unbelievably proud of you.
-Lauren-
The big difference is I feel completely confused, and a hundred percent out of control. With other guys I've liked, I've had this sense of control or at least I knew what was happening/where it was going. With Schmitty I only have this unreasonable hope.
I like not feeling in control. With my last boyfriend I "wore the pants" in the relationship. I was in complete and utter control, and it was the ruin of us. I'm the kind of person who craves control, but I'm also the kind of person who shouldn't be given such control. I abuse the power, then I get bored of it.
I just want to date someone who will call the shots, who will be in control of the relationship. I, of course, want some form of control (I don't want to be used) but I'd like the central control to be in the guy.
Schmitty is just different. In a good way. A very good way. He's such a strong Christian, and that's something I'd like to be myself and admire in other people. He's, for lack of a better word, a man. He's strong, honorable, and can hold his own in the world. My past boyfriends, not so much.
I just get along with Schmitty. We're a lot alike, but a lot different and that's really appealing. We have similar dreams for our lives, and though we often want different things those things fit together. I've never had a hard time being around Schmitty, and didn't have a hard time getting close to him. We haven't even really known each other for very long. We got close over the summer. Usually I have this long period of feeling awkward around guys, but never around Schmitty.
And then there's what can't be explained. There's how I just feel right when I'm around him. How I feel like he could be the one, as corny as that sounds. He's the kind of guy I can see myself marrying someday. I'm comforable with him. We get along. We're different but the same.
Schmitty, I really like you. I don't know if you'll ever know that, or if you'll ever really know what spending time with you this summer meant to me. I wish you the best of luck as you enter the marines. I'm so unbelievably proud of you.
-Lauren-
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Best Friend
My best friend is the beautiful Meghan Katherine York Marshall and I love her to pieces.
We're so close, she's like my sister. I can go to my Meghan with anything and know that she'll be there for me and ready to point me in the right direction. Really, though I may not always love it, she gives the best advice.
She doesn't put up with me whining over things, and likes to shut me down for long-winded rants about crushes who I have no hope with.
Meghan is so beautiful, and amazing, and just simply all around made of awesome. I can't believe she's never had a boyfriend, but I know that someday she'll get that guy who is 100% perfect for her. She completely deserves it, and deserves to be as happy as she can be in life.
She does everything and more for her family and her friends. Since her parent's divorce, she's played mom for her two sisters and she even plays mom for us (her friends) from time to time. Shet truly cares, and is a completely wonderful person. She'll be a fantastic mom someday.
We don't live close anymore since we've gone to college, but we're still just as close in our hearts (corny, I know). I don't know if she'll ever really know how much she means to me, and how much I care about her. She's my rock, she keeps me going when I start to get run down. She's always fun, I love being around her. We get each other.
Meghan, darling, I love you dearly. Let's be sisters to the end.
-Lauren-
We're so close, she's like my sister. I can go to my Meghan with anything and know that she'll be there for me and ready to point me in the right direction. Really, though I may not always love it, she gives the best advice.
She doesn't put up with me whining over things, and likes to shut me down for long-winded rants about crushes who I have no hope with.
Meghan is so beautiful, and amazing, and just simply all around made of awesome. I can't believe she's never had a boyfriend, but I know that someday she'll get that guy who is 100% perfect for her. She completely deserves it, and deserves to be as happy as she can be in life.
She does everything and more for her family and her friends. Since her parent's divorce, she's played mom for her two sisters and she even plays mom for us (her friends) from time to time. Shet truly cares, and is a completely wonderful person. She'll be a fantastic mom someday.
We don't live close anymore since we've gone to college, but we're still just as close in our hearts (corny, I know). I don't know if she'll ever really know how much she means to me, and how much I care about her. She's my rock, she keeps me going when I start to get run down. She's always fun, I love being around her. We get each other.
Meghan, darling, I love you dearly. Let's be sisters to the end.
-Lauren-
Hey Blog!
So I stumbled upon this on one of my friends Facebooks. She's doing it in her notes, which is unbelievably brave of her, but I'm going to do it here instead because no one will see it. I have a problem with revealing emotions. Either I can't handle it, or I reveal too much at one time. Fun stuff.
It's a thirty day thing, so I'm going to be doing it for the next however long. It will be interrupted by Teaser Tuesdays and actual blog posts about actual stuff happening in my life so it will probably take longer than the thirty days.
Here's the schedule, so I don't forget!
It's a thirty day thing, so I'm going to be doing it for the next however long. It will be interrupted by Teaser Tuesdays and actual blog posts about actual stuff happening in my life so it will probably take longer than the thirty days.
Here's the schedule, so I don't forget!
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Because I'm cool and like consistency, we're going to end this blog post and post another titled "My Best Friend"
See you soon!
-Lauren-
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Because I'm cool and like consistency, we're going to end this blog post and post another titled "My Best Friend"
See you soon!
-Lauren-
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Writing and Emotions
Writing is a very emotionally-draining process. Especially for me, someone who really gets to feeling what my characters feel. I feel so much what my main character, Natura, feels without even realizing. I'll break out of a serious writing session and just feel drained, often after a particularly sad/depressing scene (there are far too many times where Natura is upset so far. Those need to be fixed). It just makes me tired.
Like right now, Natura is about to be married to a man she has met once (she'll actually be marrying a different man than she thinks, yeah, it's complicated) and her dearest friend Christiana isn't taking it well. They are both very independant spirits, but Natura is much more focused on making her family (primarily her dying father) happy than doing what makes her most happy. Christiana can't understand this, she has never had a loving family (her father abuses her). So now, Christiana is ignoring Natura and being a complete bitch to Haro (their friend/Christiana's kind-of boyfriend you could say). Natura and Haro are exhausted from her behavior, and Natura is feeling all sorts of depression, exhaustion, and concern over marrying this man. It's emotionally exhausting.
Luckily, things should be changing drastically soon. Instead of sadness, we'll be getting into some intense anger. Yay for Natura's turn to be a bitch.
I'm really excited for it, though. I've been waiting ages to get to this point in the story. And I'm thinking that if I can make significant progress (finish part one by November) then I can compete in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I have an intruiging new idea that I'm itching to try out. Of course, I'm itching to get through with this draft of Eventide too!
It's a conflicting life, being a writer.
-Lauren-
Like right now, Natura is about to be married to a man she has met once (she'll actually be marrying a different man than she thinks, yeah, it's complicated) and her dearest friend Christiana isn't taking it well. They are both very independant spirits, but Natura is much more focused on making her family (primarily her dying father) happy than doing what makes her most happy. Christiana can't understand this, she has never had a loving family (her father abuses her). So now, Christiana is ignoring Natura and being a complete bitch to Haro (their friend/Christiana's kind-of boyfriend you could say). Natura and Haro are exhausted from her behavior, and Natura is feeling all sorts of depression, exhaustion, and concern over marrying this man. It's emotionally exhausting.
Luckily, things should be changing drastically soon. Instead of sadness, we'll be getting into some intense anger. Yay for Natura's turn to be a bitch.
I'm really excited for it, though. I've been waiting ages to get to this point in the story. And I'm thinking that if I can make significant progress (finish part one by November) then I can compete in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I have an intruiging new idea that I'm itching to try out. Of course, I'm itching to get through with this draft of Eventide too!
It's a conflicting life, being a writer.
-Lauren-
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Teaser Tuesday*
* This Teaser may be pretty pathetic, since I haven't written anything in over a week. The main purpose of this Teaser is to force me into some progressive writing by making me see how awesome my novel is and that I should definitely write a lot today.
Yay for Teaser Tuesday! I've managed to scavange around for something presentable. It's actually the very most recent bit of the story, which means I'm going to have to do some serious noveling to have anything for next week. Oh, the life of a writer.
Let's get on with it.
Background
Last time we saw Natura at a celebration in the City with Erik and Rigel. Now, Natura is back in Parcel (her village) and is at Haro's Shop where she is often employed. She is close friends with Haro, as well as Christiana who works at Haro's as well.
Natura just became aware of peculiar circumstances between Haro and Christiana the night before this scene, so there is tension between them (why Christiana is trying to explain something).
The Tease
End Tease
Hee hee, I have some lovely plans for Natura, many which involve Rigel. It really is too much fun to mess with the lives of your characters. And Natura's life is prime for messing with.
Also, this scene really shows what I think Natura's true personality is, rather than what she has appeared to be in some of the other recent scenes (her personality got a little buried away for some reason, I'm working on it). It's still not the best, but she's getting there. She has this sort of natural responsibility about her, which is coming out a lot in revision, and she does so much for her family (her father is dying, if I haven't said anything about that). It's that sense of responsibility that will get her stuck in the adventure of a lifetime, and I'm so excited for it.
Till next time
-Lauren-
Yay for Teaser Tuesday! I've managed to scavange around for something presentable. It's actually the very most recent bit of the story, which means I'm going to have to do some serious noveling to have anything for next week. Oh, the life of a writer.
Let's get on with it.
Background
Last time we saw Natura at a celebration in the City with Erik and Rigel. Now, Natura is back in Parcel (her village) and is at Haro's Shop where she is often employed. She is close friends with Haro, as well as Christiana who works at Haro's as well.
Natura just became aware of peculiar circumstances between Haro and Christiana the night before this scene, so there is tension between them (why Christiana is trying to explain something).
The Tease
“Good morning, Natura.” Christiana stood in the doorway between the shop and the rest of Haro’s house, leaning against the doorframe. She tentatively met Natura’s eyes and had her arms wrapped around herself.
“Good morning, Christiana,” Natura said. She looked up and smiled at her before returning to petting River.
“Natura, I—”
“Don’t explain, Christiana,” Natura said. “I wouldn’t understand.”
Christiana took a few steps toward her, stopping short in front of a finely crafted table with papers scattered over it. “But I—”
“Christiana.” Natura smiled at her friend. “We decided a long time ago that our lives are out of our control. Remember?”
Christiana smiled and maneuvered around the shop towards Natura. “I remember. We have no control over our lives here, but someday we’ll leave this village.”
Natura laughed, remembering the pact they shared in their early years as friends in the schoolhouse. “And we’ll go live in a cottage hidden away from any village.”
“Near a big river that runs into a swimming hole, with a cliff for diving,” Christiana continued.
“And a stable for Arian.” Natura left River at the counter and went to meet her friend.
“And a big fireplace that no one will wed in front of, because there are no boys allowed,” Christiana finished. They laughed together and Natura pulled her friend into an embrace.
“You know I would never leave you, right?” Christiana said, talking into Natura’s hair. “You’re my dearest friend, Natura.”
Natura smiled. “I know. I would never leave you either, Christiana.”
Christiana squeezed Natura tightly. “And you had better not!” She laughed and released her friend. “Someday when my father is dead and yours is well again we will leave this place. Someday we’ll have our cottage.”
“Excuse me, Misses.”
Natura and Christiana turned toward the front of the shop. Alaster stood in the doorway, hackles raised, a low growl rising in his throat at the man who stood just outside the shop.
“Alaster, calm down,” Natura called, she didn’t bother to raise her eyes to the man. Alaster tended to react badly to villagers he may not be familiar with; another reason why Natura never brought him along. Alaster growled for a moment longer before withdrawing back into the show and lying down in the corner, an eye on the man.
The man stepped into the shop. “Pardon me if I’m mistaken, but I do believe a Miss Natura Halle is employed here?”
Natura looked up at the man. He smiled widely at her. She couldn’t help but mirror his infectious smile. “Rigel, what are you doing all the way up in Parcel?”
“Business,” he said. “Renald has me checking an inn out in Riverton. He’s looking to expand the business, and wants me to manage the new location.”
Christiana came up by Natura’s shoulder. “You know this handsome young man?” she asked not quite quietly enough.
Natura’s cheeks burned and she pushed Christiana towards the back of the shop. “Yes, he’s the stable boy at The Maiden’s Folly in the city,” she whispered. “Now hush and go make yourself useful.”
Christiana giggled as she skipped off to the back of the shop. Natura rolled her eyes and made her way through the shop to Rigel.
“I see your position is not one of cleaning,” Rigel said, laughing.
“Haro likes the disarray,” Christiana called from somewhere out of sight. “He finds it amusing to watch Natura panic.”
“Rigel,” Natura said, dismissing Christiana’s comments that continued from her hidden location. “Why aren’t you at the Academy?”
Rigel shrugged. “Only one of Renald’s boys was destined for the Ascensian Academy,” he said. “Funnily enough, Erik didn’t seem too thrilled to have passed. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him back in Icarthia by the change of season. I think he may have had an eye for you, too.” He winked and laughed.
Natura fought the unexpected urge to shudder, and pushed the confusion at the reaction to the back of her mind. “Well I’m glad he made it,” she said. “He seemed really set on passing.”
“Yes…” Rigel said. He watched Natura for a moment; she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
“How long will you be in the area?” she asked, breaking the moment.
“Oh, no more than a few days,” he said. “Just long enough to finish my business here.”
“Well I hope it goes well for you,” Natura said. “I’m sure it would be nice to be away from Renald.”
Rigel laughed. “Without a doubt.”
“Riverton is a nice little town, too,” Natura said. “A lot of inland ships go through there, as well as a lot of interesting people you don’t see many other places in Icarthia.”
“They certainly do,” Rigel said. “Well, I really must be going. I will see you another time, Natura. Have a nice day.” He turned and walked out of the shop, letting the door shut softly behind him, only the slight tinkle of the bell echoing through the shop.
“What a handsome young man,” Christiana said, appearing at Natura’s side. “It’s a shame no boys are allowed at the cottage.”
End Tease
Hee hee, I have some lovely plans for Natura, many which involve Rigel. It really is too much fun to mess with the lives of your characters. And Natura's life is prime for messing with.
Also, this scene really shows what I think Natura's true personality is, rather than what she has appeared to be in some of the other recent scenes (her personality got a little buried away for some reason, I'm working on it). It's still not the best, but she's getting there. She has this sort of natural responsibility about her, which is coming out a lot in revision, and she does so much for her family (her father is dying, if I haven't said anything about that). It's that sense of responsibility that will get her stuck in the adventure of a lifetime, and I'm so excited for it.
Till next time
-Lauren-
Monday, September 27, 2010
University and Writing Notebooks
Rarely could university require massive use of my writing notebook, but it does for me and I'm in love with it. Being a Creative Writing major is absolutely fantastic. While I may gripe about writing poetry right now, I really do love it. It makes me happy to write, that my assignments are heavily weighted towards the writing side of things. I even tend to enjoy writing essays for my philosophy class, and that is by far my least favorite class.
My writing notebook is really a lovely thing. I took an ordinary comp book and collaged words cut out of magazines on the front. It's pretty, and I like it a lot. I love just having a writing notebook. Even if I don't write in it as much as I would like, I love having it around and having it completely dedicated to writing. Plus, I just love notebooks in general. And writing in them. And writing in general.
I spent hours trying to write a sonnet in it between last night and this morning between two of my classes. Last night was hopeless, I was forcing it so much and I didn't like how it sounded and I was so frustrated and stressing about it and bleh. Then Courtney (my roomie) told me I had to stop and go to bed because I was pretty much laying on my bed blank-staring at the wall with my head on my notebook.
Then this morning I had new inspiration, a change of plan, and pounded it out really easily. I'm so relieved, and actually pleased with the end product. Sonnets are freakin' hard to write if you weren't aware. Iambic pentameter and frustratingly restrictive rhyme schemes. Yuck. Plus, my professor gave us a really specific topic to write about. So I ended up writing it to my friend Corey who is going into the marines. I'm gonna miss that guy.
Now I'm staring at the book I have to read for my philosophy class (The Unbearable Lightness of Being) trying to convince myself to start in on the 70 pages I have left to read before class tomorrow (oh, and I have to write a short paper about it too). Yay procrastination?
The good thing is, it's actually a very interesting book. It's a novel (thank god) rather than a philosophical text like the first two books we looked at. It won't be difficult to get through, so long as I don't read on my bed and fall asleep (but I've gotten more sleep lately, so I shouldn't be tempted to sleep at random homework-doing times). And the paper will be fine. I can pound out a good short paper in no time at all. I'm an expert at these things (Thank you Mr. Neff and AP English!).
You should be expecting a Teaser tomorrow. Of course, I have to write something in order for a Teaser to appear. So this means I better get stuff done so I can do some serious writing tonight (I've been off my game lately). If I don't have anything, beat me over the head with something sharp.
'Till Then!
-Lauren-
My writing notebook is really a lovely thing. I took an ordinary comp book and collaged words cut out of magazines on the front. It's pretty, and I like it a lot. I love just having a writing notebook. Even if I don't write in it as much as I would like, I love having it around and having it completely dedicated to writing. Plus, I just love notebooks in general. And writing in them. And writing in general.
I spent hours trying to write a sonnet in it between last night and this morning between two of my classes. Last night was hopeless, I was forcing it so much and I didn't like how it sounded and I was so frustrated and stressing about it and bleh. Then Courtney (my roomie) told me I had to stop and go to bed because I was pretty much laying on my bed blank-staring at the wall with my head on my notebook.
Then this morning I had new inspiration, a change of plan, and pounded it out really easily. I'm so relieved, and actually pleased with the end product. Sonnets are freakin' hard to write if you weren't aware. Iambic pentameter and frustratingly restrictive rhyme schemes. Yuck. Plus, my professor gave us a really specific topic to write about. So I ended up writing it to my friend Corey who is going into the marines. I'm gonna miss that guy.
Now I'm staring at the book I have to read for my philosophy class (The Unbearable Lightness of Being) trying to convince myself to start in on the 70 pages I have left to read before class tomorrow (oh, and I have to write a short paper about it too). Yay procrastination?
The good thing is, it's actually a very interesting book. It's a novel (thank god) rather than a philosophical text like the first two books we looked at. It won't be difficult to get through, so long as I don't read on my bed and fall asleep (but I've gotten more sleep lately, so I shouldn't be tempted to sleep at random homework-doing times). And the paper will be fine. I can pound out a good short paper in no time at all. I'm an expert at these things (Thank you Mr. Neff and AP English!).
You should be expecting a Teaser tomorrow. Of course, I have to write something in order for a Teaser to appear. So this means I better get stuff done so I can do some serious writing tonight (I've been off my game lately). If I don't have anything, beat me over the head with something sharp.
'Till Then!
-Lauren-
Friday, September 24, 2010
Revision!
I've made a schedule! Yes, like I said I was going to do! You have no clue how proud I am of myself for actually doing something productive like I said I was going to do.
I made a nice schedule on google calenders (yeah, never found the planner I was looking for) and it's so nice and pretty and dedicated to writing (it even has blogging scheduled in!). So far, well, I've kind of been following it. I've been doing revision like I scheduled, though not much progressive writing has happened. I'm a tad blocked in that department. That's what I get for stopping at the end of a scene.
Anyway. Revision.
I absolutey love revision. It's where I think I do my best writing. It's so much easier to write something once you can physically see a version of it written down. Then I can just focus on making it sound good. And that's the best, because then I feel like less of a failure when what I write actually sounds like real writing rather than the smut I usually churn out.
The first chapter is getting revised this week. And I need to finish it this weekend to stay on schedule! It shouldn't be a problem. I'm mostly good with the first chapter, it just needs a little help style-wise. There's a lot of weird language I use, that I like to call non-direct language. It bothers me. And makes me cringe. Ugh.
I have a little pink revision notebook that I'm taking notes in for revision (you're welcome Corey, I won't be writing you letters in this pink book like I had been secretly planning. If I still do that, I'll find something more masculine). It's a really good idea, taking notes and writing stuff like that down. It helps you remember what you want to do, and it's a good place to gripe about how sucky you are. Haha!
Alright. Enough blogging for today. I have some revision to be doing, and some progressive writing to get done!
'Till Later
-Lauren-
I made a nice schedule on google calenders (yeah, never found the planner I was looking for) and it's so nice and pretty and dedicated to writing (it even has blogging scheduled in!). So far, well, I've kind of been following it. I've been doing revision like I scheduled, though not much progressive writing has happened. I'm a tad blocked in that department. That's what I get for stopping at the end of a scene.
Anyway. Revision.
I absolutey love revision. It's where I think I do my best writing. It's so much easier to write something once you can physically see a version of it written down. Then I can just focus on making it sound good. And that's the best, because then I feel like less of a failure when what I write actually sounds like real writing rather than the smut I usually churn out.
The first chapter is getting revised this week. And I need to finish it this weekend to stay on schedule! It shouldn't be a problem. I'm mostly good with the first chapter, it just needs a little help style-wise. There's a lot of weird language I use, that I like to call non-direct language. It bothers me. And makes me cringe. Ugh.
I have a little pink revision notebook that I'm taking notes in for revision (you're welcome Corey, I won't be writing you letters in this pink book like I had been secretly planning. If I still do that, I'll find something more masculine). It's a really good idea, taking notes and writing stuff like that down. It helps you remember what you want to do, and it's a good place to gripe about how sucky you are. Haha!
Alright. Enough blogging for today. I have some revision to be doing, and some progressive writing to get done!
'Till Later
-Lauren-
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Teaser Tuesday!
Oh how fabulous! Teaser Tuesday has arrived at last.
First things first.
I'm working on a flexible writing schedule. Yup. The girl who can't sick to a schedule is going to make a huge one for her writing life. We'll see how that goes.
Actually, I've been on a pretty good schedule lately that has worked well (the reason I'm considering this full out schedule deal). I try to write 1,000 words a day and it's been working well.
The only problem is I can't find the extra planner I wanted to schedule my writing stuff into.
Such is life.
I really believe a schedule would be good for me, though. It's nice to at least have a visual representation of stuff I want to get done. Makes it easier to actually get it done eventuall (if not on the scheduled times).
Cool. So, teaser time.
This teaser comes from Eventide (as usual).
This tease follows pretty closely with the last one. It's a bit later in time (not more than a day). We see Natura, Haro, and Christiana still in the Grand Icarthian City. The Ascensian Academy Trials are going on in the next few days, and there is a celebration for all the competitors the evening before it begins. Christiana drags Natura to the party, which is full of eating and dancing (typical of an Icarthian celebration).
The Tease
The song ended and the dancers stopped, clapping and shouting for another song. Rigel pulled Natura out of the crowd of dancers and gave her a slight push toward the crowd across the empty space. “You’re safe now.” He laughed, a wide smile across his face displaying slightly crooked and yellowed teeth. “No more unwarranted dancing.” He winked and disappeared back into the crowd of dancers, taking the hand of another young woman and starting into the next dance
End Tease
I'm not entirely pleased with the mechanics or the dialogue in this section. I'm itching to completely rewrite it and let it make more sense to a reader. But the effect I want it to have is there, hidden amongst the smut.
I need this scene to draw a subtle contrast between Erik and Rigel. They're cousins, so of the same bloodline, and not entirely different (they aren't opposites or anything). I need the reader to pick up on the act that Erik is rough and a little unstable, while Rigel is strong and compassionate. I just don't want to make it entirely obvious. It's important for a very big shift in the relationships between Natura and these two young men.
Luckily I can make this all better in endless revision. Yay revision!
'Till next time!
-Lauren-
First things first.
I'm working on a flexible writing schedule. Yup. The girl who can't sick to a schedule is going to make a huge one for her writing life. We'll see how that goes.
Actually, I've been on a pretty good schedule lately that has worked well (the reason I'm considering this full out schedule deal). I try to write 1,000 words a day and it's been working well.
The only problem is I can't find the extra planner I wanted to schedule my writing stuff into.
Such is life.
I really believe a schedule would be good for me, though. It's nice to at least have a visual representation of stuff I want to get done. Makes it easier to actually get it done eventuall (if not on the scheduled times).
Cool. So, teaser time.
This teaser comes from Eventide (as usual).
This tease follows pretty closely with the last one. It's a bit later in time (not more than a day). We see Natura, Haro, and Christiana still in the Grand Icarthian City. The Ascensian Academy Trials are going on in the next few days, and there is a celebration for all the competitors the evening before it begins. Christiana drags Natura to the party, which is full of eating and dancing (typical of an Icarthian celebration).
The Tease
Natura stood on the edge of the open space, straining her eyes to find her friend. If Christiana was anywhere, she would be in the dance.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Erik standing beside her, a small smile on his lips. “May I have this dance, Miss?” he asked, holding out his hand.
“Oh, I don’t dance,” Natura said, pushing his hand down. Ever since Alger Penn dumped her in the fountain at a celebration in Parcel when she was seven, Natura did her best to avoid festive gatherings. And since Christiana repaid poor Alger with a black eye and a broken hand, she wasn’t exactly welcomed with open arms to the festivities she so desperately wanted to attend.
“Not much for a celebration?” Erik asked.
“No,” Natura said. Coming from a village where the girls married young, and the young men frequented the tavern, a celebration was the last place Natura desired to be. Though, her father pushed her to attend as much as she could; wishing to settle her with a man as soon as he could.
“Neither am I,” Erik said. “So we’ll be good for each other.” He smiled at her, showing off impressively white teeth for an Icarthian man. He held his hand out again. “Come on.”
“No, really I’m content here watching,” she insisted.
“Come on.” He grabbed at her hand and pulled her across the open space. He pulled her to him, one hand clutching her at the waist and the other holding her hand. When a space opened in the group around the fire, he pulled her in with him to the dance. She held his shoulder tightly, her arms tense, as they spun around the fire.
“See, it isn’t so bad,” Erik said, smiling down at her.
Natura clenched her teeth together and focused on her hand at his shoulder. She closed her eyes and held her breath as they spun quickly and started moving back in the opposite direction they had been going.
“Switch!” someone yelled in the crowd, with echoes of the same word erupting from other dancers around the fire.
Natura let out a long breath. If she was quick enough, she could work her way out of the circle of dancers before another young man claimed her as a partner.
Erik’s hands let her go, letting her spin away from him. She opened her eyes as she spun, and the world spun around her. Her foot caught itself under her, and her body lurched forward.
A pair of strong hands caught her before she hit the ground, pulling her up and into the dance again.
“The opening ceremonies are for competitors only, you know.” Rigel laughed, his lips caught up in a crooked smile. He held her around the waist, spinning smoothly with her around the fire. His calloused hand was warm around hers.
“Are you feeling alright?” he asked. “You look a little green.”
She took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll be alright.”
“It didn’t look like you were doing too well with Erik,” he said. “Or without him, for that matter. You were headed right for the ground there.”
“I’m not much for dancing,” she said, meeting his eyes with her own.
Rigel shrugged. “You’re doing alright, now.” He lifted her up and they spun in time with the group.
“I guess so,” she said, smiling a little.
“So will you be watching the Trials tomorrow?” Rigel asked as they spun again.
“We’ll be leaving back for my village tomorrow,” Natura said. “I don’t like to be away for long.”
“Homesick?” he asked. “Or do you have a fellow missing you back home?” He laughed as they turned and switched directions.
“My father is ill,” Natura said. “My family needs me.”
Rigel stopped laughing and frowned sympathetically. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t know.”
End Tease
I'm not entirely pleased with the mechanics or the dialogue in this section. I'm itching to completely rewrite it and let it make more sense to a reader. But the effect I want it to have is there, hidden amongst the smut.
I need this scene to draw a subtle contrast between Erik and Rigel. They're cousins, so of the same bloodline, and not entirely different (they aren't opposites or anything). I need the reader to pick up on the act that Erik is rough and a little unstable, while Rigel is strong and compassionate. I just don't want to make it entirely obvious. It's important for a very big shift in the relationships between Natura and these two young men.
Luckily I can make this all better in endless revision. Yay revision!
'Till next time!
-Lauren-
Monday, September 20, 2010
A Post About My Life aka Awkward Didn't Get That Way On Its Own
I'm very good at getting myself into awkward situations. Usually, these come about by my own doing. But recently I'd thought I'd be avoiding needlessly awkward situations forever, since I've been working really hard to stop being such an awkward kid all the time. Unfortunately, I didn't seem to realize that other people can make awkward situations awkward just as well as I can.
Rewind a little bit.
Saturday night I went clubbing for the first time ever (as well as the first time at this particular club in the town my university is in). It was a ton of fun! I got asked to dance by one guy, but I had no clue who he was, he was intoxicated, and he wasn't even cute. So I rejected him, much to the amusement of my friends. I also kind of danced with my friend. For the purposes of this, we'll call him Jay.
Now, Jay is purely a friend at this point. I met him like a month ago (along with all my other awesome university friends). Even with this fact, I wasn't bothered when we started dancing (dancing at a club is usually nasty grinding, luckily me and my friends aren't into that so it was a much more tame form of grinding that is mostly just moving back and forth to the music). I have a lot of guy friends back home who I'm not afraid to touch and who I don't mind touching me (in non-sexual ways) so I wasn't bothered when Jay's hands were suddenly on my waist.
A quick explanation: it was very crowded in the club. I was very close to all of my friends, as well as everyone else there. The forces of crowded dance floors made it so that I was dancing directly in front of Jay, with my back to him. I was also dancing very closely to my friend Annie (we could have very easily hugged without moving at all).
Anyways. Jay's hands on my waist. Didn't bother me at all, since again, I'm used to having guys touch me (in non-sexual ways). I could tell he was pretty tentative about where his hands were, since every once and a while they would not be on my waist and then sometimes they would. Again, didn't really bother me. He seems like a pretty shyish guy, very nice, probably concerned about the situation since he never actually asked me to dance or anything. Again, I wasn't bothered at all.
The awkward came later.
We were walking back from the club with the group we went with and I recieve a text. Said text was from Jay "sincerely apologizing" if anything he did made me feel uncomfortable. The awkward began to set it, but not so much. Nice guy, wanted to be sure I didn't feel weird (I feel like I probably give off the impression that that would make me feel uncomfortable). I assured him it didn't, yet he texted back that he "felt really bad" and was sorry. A little more awkward now.
A good bit later.
His status shows up on my facebook feed. Something like "well tonight was a true display of hypocrisy..." right after we had come back from the club. This leaves me to believe that I may have done something to make him weird out, or he has some sort of strange crush on me.
Situation quickly propelled into full on awkward.
I know this shouldn't make me feel awkward, and I'm probably overreacting (most certainly, he probably doesn't have a crush on me. I tend to doubt boys find me attractive in that way.). But still. I don't have a crush on Jay. At least I didn't. Thinking he could have a crush on me makes me feel conflicted and weird. He's a nice guy, really nice. And smart. But it would potentially make our group of friends really awkward. And I don't want to do that. I like my friends.
So now, I'm feeling all awkward and stuff. Hoping it goes away soon, and things go back to normal.
That's all.
-Lauren-
Rewind a little bit.
Saturday night I went clubbing for the first time ever (as well as the first time at this particular club in the town my university is in). It was a ton of fun! I got asked to dance by one guy, but I had no clue who he was, he was intoxicated, and he wasn't even cute. So I rejected him, much to the amusement of my friends. I also kind of danced with my friend. For the purposes of this, we'll call him Jay.
Now, Jay is purely a friend at this point. I met him like a month ago (along with all my other awesome university friends). Even with this fact, I wasn't bothered when we started dancing (dancing at a club is usually nasty grinding, luckily me and my friends aren't into that so it was a much more tame form of grinding that is mostly just moving back and forth to the music). I have a lot of guy friends back home who I'm not afraid to touch and who I don't mind touching me (in non-sexual ways) so I wasn't bothered when Jay's hands were suddenly on my waist.
A quick explanation: it was very crowded in the club. I was very close to all of my friends, as well as everyone else there. The forces of crowded dance floors made it so that I was dancing directly in front of Jay, with my back to him. I was also dancing very closely to my friend Annie (we could have very easily hugged without moving at all).
Anyways. Jay's hands on my waist. Didn't bother me at all, since again, I'm used to having guys touch me (in non-sexual ways). I could tell he was pretty tentative about where his hands were, since every once and a while they would not be on my waist and then sometimes they would. Again, didn't really bother me. He seems like a pretty shyish guy, very nice, probably concerned about the situation since he never actually asked me to dance or anything. Again, I wasn't bothered at all.
The awkward came later.
We were walking back from the club with the group we went with and I recieve a text. Said text was from Jay "sincerely apologizing" if anything he did made me feel uncomfortable. The awkward began to set it, but not so much. Nice guy, wanted to be sure I didn't feel weird (I feel like I probably give off the impression that that would make me feel uncomfortable). I assured him it didn't, yet he texted back that he "felt really bad" and was sorry. A little more awkward now.
A good bit later.
His status shows up on my facebook feed. Something like "well tonight was a true display of hypocrisy..." right after we had come back from the club. This leaves me to believe that I may have done something to make him weird out, or he has some sort of strange crush on me.
Situation quickly propelled into full on awkward.
I know this shouldn't make me feel awkward, and I'm probably overreacting (most certainly, he probably doesn't have a crush on me. I tend to doubt boys find me attractive in that way.). But still. I don't have a crush on Jay. At least I didn't. Thinking he could have a crush on me makes me feel conflicted and weird. He's a nice guy, really nice. And smart. But it would potentially make our group of friends really awkward. And I don't want to do that. I like my friends.
So now, I'm feeling all awkward and stuff. Hoping it goes away soon, and things go back to normal.
That's all.
-Lauren-
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Voices In My Head
As a writer, my characters are very real to me. They are their own (though fictional) people with their own personalities, likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses. They're very real to me.
Along with my characters, there are several other entities running around in my head that (for the purposes of this blog) you should probably know a bit more about.
And no, I'm not crazy because I hear voices in my heaad. I'm a writer.
Natura
We'll start this out to make me sound as sane as possible. Natura is the main character of my novel, Eventide. While she serves a purpose within the story, she also seems to be the driving force for bugging me when I haven't written in a while. When she decides she needs to bug me, she's not as... nice as her characer is. In fact, she's pretty mean.
In "normal" people terms Natura could be described as the ideas in my head specifically for this story as well as my inner guilt when I haven't written in a while.
Currently, Natura is nice and happy because I've been writing a lot.
Gwen the Muse
Gwen is my Muse. If you live under a rock and don't know what a Muse is (no, not the band) go look it up. The internet is fancy like that. Anyways. When Gwen is around and doing her job, I have plenty of inspiration to write and form ideas and be all creative and stuff. When she's not around, I tend to not be writing as much or at least having a really hard time getting stuff written.
In "normal" people terms Gwen is basically my inspiration and my drive to write.
Currently, Gwen has been hanging around a lot.
The IE
The IE is my inner editor. No, she doesn't have any fun name. She doesn't get that privelidge. The IE is locked up in her cage when I'm writing something, an only allowed to come out once I've started revision. She doesn't like the cage, and doesn't hesitate to vocalize that.
In "normal" people terms, The IE is the urge I get to go back and edit/rewrite something I'm not entirely pleased with before I've finished the draft. It usually gets in the way of progress, so I have to subdue that urge a lot.
Currently, The IE has been making some noise but she's quieting down a bit.
So there. That's a quick rundown of the most prominant people running around in my head. Along with Natura, there are a whole slew of Eventide characters and a few newborns from works like Anastasia and Another Anberlin and Living for Samantha and September as well as a slew of short story characters who like to bother me from time to time with tempting spurts of ideas (all of those titles, aside from Eventide, are novel ideas that have yet to be seriously worked on but are things that I'd really like to write. But they don't get anything until Eventide is done).
Hope you don't think I'm too crazy!
'Till Next Time
-Lauren-
P.S. Expect a Teaser (whether on Tuesday or not) next week.
Along with my characters, there are several other entities running around in my head that (for the purposes of this blog) you should probably know a bit more about.
And no, I'm not crazy because I hear voices in my heaad. I'm a writer.
Natura
We'll start this out to make me sound as sane as possible. Natura is the main character of my novel, Eventide. While she serves a purpose within the story, she also seems to be the driving force for bugging me when I haven't written in a while. When she decides she needs to bug me, she's not as... nice as her characer is. In fact, she's pretty mean.
In "normal" people terms Natura could be described as the ideas in my head specifically for this story as well as my inner guilt when I haven't written in a while.
Currently, Natura is nice and happy because I've been writing a lot.
Gwen the Muse
Gwen is my Muse. If you live under a rock and don't know what a Muse is (no, not the band) go look it up. The internet is fancy like that. Anyways. When Gwen is around and doing her job, I have plenty of inspiration to write and form ideas and be all creative and stuff. When she's not around, I tend to not be writing as much or at least having a really hard time getting stuff written.
In "normal" people terms Gwen is basically my inspiration and my drive to write.
Currently, Gwen has been hanging around a lot.
The IE
The IE is my inner editor. No, she doesn't have any fun name. She doesn't get that privelidge. The IE is locked up in her cage when I'm writing something, an only allowed to come out once I've started revision. She doesn't like the cage, and doesn't hesitate to vocalize that.
In "normal" people terms, The IE is the urge I get to go back and edit/rewrite something I'm not entirely pleased with before I've finished the draft. It usually gets in the way of progress, so I have to subdue that urge a lot.
Currently, The IE has been making some noise but she's quieting down a bit.
So there. That's a quick rundown of the most prominant people running around in my head. Along with Natura, there are a whole slew of Eventide characters and a few newborns from works like Anastasia and Another Anberlin and Living for Samantha and September as well as a slew of short story characters who like to bother me from time to time with tempting spurts of ideas (all of those titles, aside from Eventide, are novel ideas that have yet to be seriously worked on but are things that I'd really like to write. But they don't get anything until Eventide is done).
Hope you don't think I'm too crazy!
'Till Next Time
-Lauren-
P.S. Expect a Teaser (whether on Tuesday or not) next week.
Friday, September 17, 2010
This Is The Life
Someone has recently given me the plague, so I've been sneezing and coughing a lot the past few days as well as obsessively downing fruit juices (typically the orange type). I firmly believe that enough orange juice and excercise will rid me of this disease.
Being sick has fortunately not kept me from doing the things I'm beginning to love about college; eating (it's Fat Kid Friday!), sleeping, and playing call of duty (oh, and homework...yeah). For anyone who isn't aware, no I am not a teenage boy. No matter how teenage boyish those three activities sound I am, in fact, a female young adult (teenager sounds so... teenage).
We've discovered Call of Duty (well, Annie has discovered Call of Duty. The boys own it, I've played it before, and now Annie is addicted) and it's fantastic. It's even better since I'm pretty good at it. At least, I can destroy Annie and I stand a fighting chance against some of the guys. Boys are just better at video games, though. It's in their genes. They're alowed to beat me.
Oh, and I've been writing a lot lately. (Yeah, Lauren, that's the point of the blog.)
It really is awesome, though. I've been doing great getting at least 1,000 words in a day (It was more yesterday, I wrote while I sat in the laundry room of my dorm trying to get my clothes clean). The plot is progressing well, though I have a few concerns, and I'm really excited for where it's going.
I just can't forget about those concerns....
When in the world of being a writer, there are a lot of big road block problems that can really destroy your passion (or what I like to call, my "writing groove"). Right now, I'm in my writing groove, but I tend to fall out of it easily. Especially when I see one of those road blocks looming.
A big one is just losing time to write. Right now, I have plenty of free time to write. I can easily pound out 1,000 words, and almost as easily can manage to write 1,000 words of my novel in a good amount of time. But when I get busy, I have to shove writing aside for more important things (like studying and homework and call of duty). When I shove writing aside one day, it's easier to shove aside the next day, and the day after that, and so on and so forth. Then, weeks have passed and I haven't opened up microsoft word or even thought about my story. And thus, writers apathy has set in. I feel like this is something that happens to all writers, and I haven't figured out a better cure than forcing yourself down to write a bit every day until you work back into your groove and break the apathy.
The next biggest is when my inner editor likes to bang against the side of her cage and raise hell. Whenever this happens, I know I'm less than pleased with something I've recently written (usually I know right after I write it, but I can push it away for a while before the inner editor catches wind of it). The urge to edit is so terrible, but I know if I go back to edit I'm not making further progress in the story and it hurts me in the long run. I'm very much a revisionist. I live in that zone of rewriting and editing. But when I do that, I get stuck there. I can't move forward. Which is why I try not to edit the story until it's done (exceptions made for major plot changes that result in major cuttage of words).
My inner editor decided to bang against her cage yesterday.
I've been writing a lot, and making progess as I've said. Unfortunately, I started to think about how some of the chapters ought to be better tied together, and there's a lot of dead prose where not much goes on that should be cut. None of this is plot changing, or anything out of the revisionary-ordinary. I'm trying to placate the inner editor with cookies and promises of free reign once the draft is done, but I think she knows it will be a while before that happens.
Oh well. I'll just have to power through this. Usually when I get past the point where she starts being obnoxious, she forgets about it.
Yes, I have several imaginary entities running around in my head.
No, that is not a problem.
I need to go find me some caffine and get to writing.
-Lauren-
Being sick has fortunately not kept me from doing the things I'm beginning to love about college; eating (it's Fat Kid Friday!), sleeping, and playing call of duty (oh, and homework...yeah). For anyone who isn't aware, no I am not a teenage boy. No matter how teenage boyish those three activities sound I am, in fact, a female young adult (teenager sounds so... teenage).
We've discovered Call of Duty (well, Annie has discovered Call of Duty. The boys own it, I've played it before, and now Annie is addicted) and it's fantastic. It's even better since I'm pretty good at it. At least, I can destroy Annie and I stand a fighting chance against some of the guys. Boys are just better at video games, though. It's in their genes. They're alowed to beat me.
Oh, and I've been writing a lot lately. (Yeah, Lauren, that's the point of the blog.)
It really is awesome, though. I've been doing great getting at least 1,000 words in a day (It was more yesterday, I wrote while I sat in the laundry room of my dorm trying to get my clothes clean). The plot is progressing well, though I have a few concerns, and I'm really excited for where it's going.
I just can't forget about those concerns....
When in the world of being a writer, there are a lot of big road block problems that can really destroy your passion (or what I like to call, my "writing groove"). Right now, I'm in my writing groove, but I tend to fall out of it easily. Especially when I see one of those road blocks looming.
A big one is just losing time to write. Right now, I have plenty of free time to write. I can easily pound out 1,000 words, and almost as easily can manage to write 1,000 words of my novel in a good amount of time. But when I get busy, I have to shove writing aside for more important things (like studying and homework and call of duty). When I shove writing aside one day, it's easier to shove aside the next day, and the day after that, and so on and so forth. Then, weeks have passed and I haven't opened up microsoft word or even thought about my story. And thus, writers apathy has set in. I feel like this is something that happens to all writers, and I haven't figured out a better cure than forcing yourself down to write a bit every day until you work back into your groove and break the apathy.
The next biggest is when my inner editor likes to bang against the side of her cage and raise hell. Whenever this happens, I know I'm less than pleased with something I've recently written (usually I know right after I write it, but I can push it away for a while before the inner editor catches wind of it). The urge to edit is so terrible, but I know if I go back to edit I'm not making further progress in the story and it hurts me in the long run. I'm very much a revisionist. I live in that zone of rewriting and editing. But when I do that, I get stuck there. I can't move forward. Which is why I try not to edit the story until it's done (exceptions made for major plot changes that result in major cuttage of words).
My inner editor decided to bang against her cage yesterday.
I've been writing a lot, and making progess as I've said. Unfortunately, I started to think about how some of the chapters ought to be better tied together, and there's a lot of dead prose where not much goes on that should be cut. None of this is plot changing, or anything out of the revisionary-ordinary. I'm trying to placate the inner editor with cookies and promises of free reign once the draft is done, but I think she knows it will be a while before that happens.
Oh well. I'll just have to power through this. Usually when I get past the point where she starts being obnoxious, she forgets about it.
Yes, I have several imaginary entities running around in my head.
No, that is not a problem.
I need to go find me some caffine and get to writing.
-Lauren-
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Art of Setting Goals
For me, writing is a major part goal setting. I don't tend to set goals (or meet said goals) for anything else but writing (and I rarely meet writing goals, either). Somehow, setting a goal makes me more inclined to work rather than procrastinate and just generally makes me feel good about myself.
Right now, my goal for Eventide is to have the draft (I can hardly call it a first draft anymore, since I stopped halfway through what I was calling the first draft, cut 40,000 words, and started writing again) done by Christmas break.
Now, chances are this goal will not be achieved. I've set many many similar goals for Eventide and have yet to actually complete any draft of it. Now I usually end up making major plot changes that require cutting massive amounts of words and heading back towards the beginning of the story (it's probably the fourth time I've backtracked to chapter two in this thing). But I'm really going to push to make this goal this time! Really truly I will!
Mostly because I want to be able to spend my extraordinarily long Christmas break editing like a madwoman. And this is mostly because then I can print happy copies of freshly edited chapters and get people I know beta reading for me.
-An important side note! Beta reading is when you have someone read your novel and do whatever level of editing you desire them to do. For me, it will mostly be for content (and any glaring grammatical issues).-
Then, after my beta readers tear it up I'll edit again! Then have people beta again! Then edit again! Then more beta! And so on and so forth until it's PERFECT.
Well, okay, not perfect, but until I'm satisfied with it. Then I plan on querying and querying and querying until I find myself an agent/publisher and then get Eventide published and made a best seller and become fabulously wealthy.
Alright, that's a litte farfetched. I'd settle for just being published. Heck, I'd settle for just creating something I'm truly proud of.
Anywho. I'm pretty well on track for the goal right now. I'm trying to write at least 1,000 words a day (a tad remniscent of NaNoWriMo, but not nearly as insane). So, if all goes well, I should be finishing up around Christmas break. And since I can often write more than 1,000 words in a day it could hopefully be sooner.
That means, of course, no NaNoWriMo this year. I really want to participate again, but Eventide is my priority.
And that's my rambling about goals. Here's to meeting this one for once.
-Lauren-
Right now, my goal for Eventide is to have the draft (I can hardly call it a first draft anymore, since I stopped halfway through what I was calling the first draft, cut 40,000 words, and started writing again) done by Christmas break.
Now, chances are this goal will not be achieved. I've set many many similar goals for Eventide and have yet to actually complete any draft of it. Now I usually end up making major plot changes that require cutting massive amounts of words and heading back towards the beginning of the story (it's probably the fourth time I've backtracked to chapter two in this thing). But I'm really going to push to make this goal this time! Really truly I will!
Mostly because I want to be able to spend my extraordinarily long Christmas break editing like a madwoman. And this is mostly because then I can print happy copies of freshly edited chapters and get people I know beta reading for me.
-An important side note! Beta reading is when you have someone read your novel and do whatever level of editing you desire them to do. For me, it will mostly be for content (and any glaring grammatical issues).-
Then, after my beta readers tear it up I'll edit again! Then have people beta again! Then edit again! Then more beta! And so on and so forth until it's PERFECT.
Well, okay, not perfect, but until I'm satisfied with it. Then I plan on querying and querying and querying until I find myself an agent/publisher and then get Eventide published and made a best seller and become fabulously wealthy.
Alright, that's a litte farfetched. I'd settle for just being published. Heck, I'd settle for just creating something I'm truly proud of.
Anywho. I'm pretty well on track for the goal right now. I'm trying to write at least 1,000 words a day (a tad remniscent of NaNoWriMo, but not nearly as insane). So, if all goes well, I should be finishing up around Christmas break. And since I can often write more than 1,000 words in a day it could hopefully be sooner.
That means, of course, no NaNoWriMo this year. I really want to participate again, but Eventide is my priority.
And that's my rambling about goals. Here's to meeting this one for once.
-Lauren-
Saturday, September 11, 2010
The Joys of Worldbuilding
Who would have thought, almost three years into this novel, I would still be world building.
I guess it makes sense. I never fully built much of the world outside of Icarthia (my MC's home country). Other than the fact that other countries existed, of course. Though, I guess that did make it easier to completely nix an entire country.
These revisions just keep getting better and better. (It's probably a good thing that I wasn't entirely attached to half the story, or else I'd be way depressed with all this cutting I've been doing.)
With this new world building, I finally took it upon myself to create some legit maps. I've mapped a little before (mostly when I was trying to figure out the placement of the other countries in relation to Icarthia) but it was never anything serious and always badly drawn by hand.
But recently I discovered that Paint is a great map-making tool. Especially since I can't draw perfectly straight/smooth lines on Paint (making it a tad more realistic, in my opinion).
So not only have I begun to map out the entire continent (which is nowhere near complete)
But I've also mapped out my MC's village, and the capital city of Icarthia
You could say I've become addicted to map-making. Because I've also made diagrams of the interiors of certain buildings (But I won't bother to show those off).
Map-making is really helpful to me (and any other person who likes to be able to visualize things) because now I don't have to hold all that appearance stuff in my head I can just look at it in my spiffy maps. Plus, I'm big on procrastination and this helps me feel productive while I procrastinate from actually writing.
On a lighter note, the newest draft has hit 11,000 words as of yesterday. I'm making progress again!
'Till Next Time,
-Lauren-
I guess it makes sense. I never fully built much of the world outside of Icarthia (my MC's home country). Other than the fact that other countries existed, of course. Though, I guess that did make it easier to completely nix an entire country.
These revisions just keep getting better and better. (It's probably a good thing that I wasn't entirely attached to half the story, or else I'd be way depressed with all this cutting I've been doing.)
With this new world building, I finally took it upon myself to create some legit maps. I've mapped a little before (mostly when I was trying to figure out the placement of the other countries in relation to Icarthia) but it was never anything serious and always badly drawn by hand.
But recently I discovered that Paint is a great map-making tool. Especially since I can't draw perfectly straight/smooth lines on Paint (making it a tad more realistic, in my opinion).
So not only have I begun to map out the entire continent (which is nowhere near complete)
 |
| All nine Ascensian countries plus a yet-unnamed island important to the plot. Oceanica is underwater (inhabited by merpeople) and covers all the light blue area. Also, the big central country is Lindai and the upper unnamed country is Icarthia (I removed the names in order to add in specifics like rivers and cities, and haven't put them back yet). |
But I've also mapped out my MC's village, and the capital city of Icarthia
 |
| Purple - business, orange - residential, bright green - a unique business/home |
 |
| Purple - business, orange - residential. The streets shown in the city are main roads, and there are smaller streets/alleys intersecting the businesses (I just didn't put them on the map). Looks like the rivers don't match up between here and the whole country view, oh well. |
Map-making is really helpful to me (and any other person who likes to be able to visualize things) because now I don't have to hold all that appearance stuff in my head I can just look at it in my spiffy maps. Plus, I'm big on procrastination and this helps me feel productive while I procrastinate from actually writing.
On a lighter note, the newest draft has hit 11,000 words as of yesterday. I'm making progress again!
'Till Next Time,
-Lauren-
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Procrastination And Noveling
I have discovered the most wonderful cure to writers apathy (no, not block. I'm not blocked, I'm apathetic). Procrastinate.
No, don't procrastinate on whatever you're writing. Procrastinate on everything else you have to do by writing instead. It actually makes writing so appealing that it comes easily rather than feeling like trudging through four feet of snow.
Of course, then I don't get that article summary and response done for my Zoology class tomorrow... Oh well. Such is life.
It feels great to be writing consistenly again. Especially since I just killed half of my wordcount a couple weeks ago. I'm making real progress again, and stuff is happening that I never expected would happen.
For one, my novel has themes. Yeah, I feel like a hardcore writer now.
It's really surprising, though. Since I wasn't planning on any of these themes when I first set out (three years ago...). It was just a story, I didn't know anything about plots and subplots and underlying meanings. But either my subconscious is more awesome than I thought, or I somehow inadvertently uncovered themes in the story. Either way, I'm loving this.
Just to think that my novel could have a real, resonating meaning rather than being just an entertaining story is fantastic. It makes me feel a lot more like a writer, and like I might accomplish something with this crazy writing thing that I'm doing. And they're good themes (in my opinion, at least) like self-sacrifice for the greater good, duty, and love (and not ooey gooey romance crap either, like honest legit love for another being whether romantic or not).
And I hit 11,000 words today. I'm feeling mighty pleased by that. I'm hoping to recover the lost words quickly, and hopefully be further along in the plot than I was at the same amount of words in the last draft.
Well that's all my rambling for today. I swear this blog entry was 74% better in my head. Oh well.
-Lauren-
P.S. VSQ and Endless Youtube make my writing life: http://www.endlessyoutube.com/watch?v=3limUX7Cw_s
No, don't procrastinate on whatever you're writing. Procrastinate on everything else you have to do by writing instead. It actually makes writing so appealing that it comes easily rather than feeling like trudging through four feet of snow.
Of course, then I don't get that article summary and response done for my Zoology class tomorrow... Oh well. Such is life.
It feels great to be writing consistenly again. Especially since I just killed half of my wordcount a couple weeks ago. I'm making real progress again, and stuff is happening that I never expected would happen.
For one, my novel has themes. Yeah, I feel like a hardcore writer now.
It's really surprising, though. Since I wasn't planning on any of these themes when I first set out (three years ago...). It was just a story, I didn't know anything about plots and subplots and underlying meanings. But either my subconscious is more awesome than I thought, or I somehow inadvertently uncovered themes in the story. Either way, I'm loving this.
Just to think that my novel could have a real, resonating meaning rather than being just an entertaining story is fantastic. It makes me feel a lot more like a writer, and like I might accomplish something with this crazy writing thing that I'm doing. And they're good themes (in my opinion, at least) like self-sacrifice for the greater good, duty, and love (and not ooey gooey romance crap either, like honest legit love for another being whether romantic or not).
And I hit 11,000 words today. I'm feeling mighty pleased by that. I'm hoping to recover the lost words quickly, and hopefully be further along in the plot than I was at the same amount of words in the last draft.
Well that's all my rambling for today. I swear this blog entry was 74% better in my head. Oh well.
-Lauren-
P.S. VSQ and Endless Youtube make my writing life: http://www.endlessyoutube.com/watch?v=3limUX7Cw_s
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Teaser...Wednesday (And Some Other Stuff)
Labor day threw off my ability to know which day of the week it is. I spent half of yesterday staring at my class schedule as I wandered around my university trying to remember which classes I have on Tuesdays.
So, with my inability to remember it was Tuesday and everything that goes along with Tuesdays, I forgot about Teaser Tuesday!
Teaser Tuesday, for those who are unaware, is when I put up a little tease about something I'm currently writing.
Today's Teaser comes to you from Eventide, the novel that is my main project right now. I recently cut about 40,000 of the words and went back to the beginning because I didn't like where it was going. Luckily, I like it a lot better now! Three cheers for cutting massive amounts of words!
Not much background is needed, really. Natura is the main character, she lives in Icarthia, she went with Haro and Christiana to The Grand Icarthian City for a few days to pick up some things Haro needs. They're staying in a really run-down inn because, due to the Ascensian Academy Trials, there aren't a lot of rooms left in more high-end establishments.
The Tease
The stables were empty, except for a dozen or so horses. Natura frowned. Erik couldn’t have cared well for Arian if he was already gone. She wandered down the rows of stalls, searching for the one that held her friend.
She was halfway down, peering into a stall that held a little pony she had never seen the likes of before, when a stall door swung shut, banging loudly. She jumped and spun towards the source of the noise.
A young man stood in the stables at the end Natura had yet to search, having just emerged from a stall with shovel in hand and his shirt unbuttoned and hanging down loosely from where it was tucked into his pants. Dirt and sweat coated his bare skin, and straw fell from his golden-brown hair as he ran his free hand through it.
He turned to Natura, “Oh,” he said, eyes wide. “Can I help you, Miss?”
Natura’s face burned. She turned her face away from the half-naked young man, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’m, uhm.” She cleared her throat. “I’m looking for my horse.”
“One Erik just brought in? Yeah, right down here,” he said.
Natura turned her face slightly to glance back at the young man. His shovel was leaning against a stall door and his shirt was on; though, he seemed more interested in rolling the sleeves of the once-white shirt than he was in buttoning it to conceal his bare chest.
He looked up at Natura. “Is he one of these?” He pointed to the two stalls nearest him.
Natura walked towards him, as closest to the stalls as she could be without plastering herself to them. She peered into the stalls, glad to find Arian in the first.
“Hey there,” she said softly, reaching a hand in to stroke his nose.
“That’s one fine horse, Miss,” he said. He stepped up beside her, his chin resting on his hands on the end of the shovel in front of him. “And he’s a good bit calmer now that you’ve shown up. He seemed a little uneasy before; I was clearing out another stall for him, but he seems fine now.”
Arian stretched his head forward and nuzzled Natura’s cheek.
“I’m Rigel,” the young man said. He held a hand out toward Natura.
Natura looked up at him – he was taller than the average Icarthian man – and took his hand. It was rough, calloused from long days of working in the stables. “Natura,” she said. Her throat was dry, and her voice cracked as she spoke.
“Here to compete, Natura?” Rigel asked. He gripped the shovel under his chin, leaning towards her.
“No,” she said. “Business.”
“I see,” Rigel said. “Husband bring you along then? What’s his trade?”
“No, no husband,” Natura said quickly, waving a hand in front of her. “I help a shopkeeper in my village, and came along to pick up goods.”
Rigel raised an eyebrow. “A working girl, huh? A little rebellious are we?” He gave her a wink and laughed. His laugh was warm, inviting. Natura couldn’t help but laugh along. She laughed, shaking her head, and leaning against Arian’s stall, petting his nose.
“A working girl,” Rigel said again, quieter and more to himself this time. “I like it.”
He smiled at Natura. It was a warm smile, a smile that struck Natura with discomfort. “I should be going,” she said. “Work to do.”
“Oh yes, I ought to be disappearing as well,” Rigel said. “I’m not supposed to be working today, you see.”
He nodded respectfully to her as he backed away. “Nice meeting you, Natura.” He set his shovel against a stall, turned, and strode out of the stable.
End Tease
Haha, it's so much fun to put Natura in uncomfortable situations. She handles it splendidly, though. Pardon any suckishness of the tease, it's a first draft.
And Some Other Stuff
Last night I interviewed for a position on the staff of my campus' literary magazine. It's not like a paid thing or anything, but I really hope I get it. I think the interview went well, but who knows. I'll find out later this week.
Till whenever I decide to blog again,
-Lauren-
So, with my inability to remember it was Tuesday and everything that goes along with Tuesdays, I forgot about Teaser Tuesday!
Teaser Tuesday, for those who are unaware, is when I put up a little tease about something I'm currently writing.
Today's Teaser comes to you from Eventide, the novel that is my main project right now. I recently cut about 40,000 of the words and went back to the beginning because I didn't like where it was going. Luckily, I like it a lot better now! Three cheers for cutting massive amounts of words!
Not much background is needed, really. Natura is the main character, she lives in Icarthia, she went with Haro and Christiana to The Grand Icarthian City for a few days to pick up some things Haro needs. They're staying in a really run-down inn because, due to the Ascensian Academy Trials, there aren't a lot of rooms left in more high-end establishments.
The Tease
The stables were empty, except for a dozen or so horses. Natura frowned. Erik couldn’t have cared well for Arian if he was already gone. She wandered down the rows of stalls, searching for the one that held her friend.
She was halfway down, peering into a stall that held a little pony she had never seen the likes of before, when a stall door swung shut, banging loudly. She jumped and spun towards the source of the noise.
A young man stood in the stables at the end Natura had yet to search, having just emerged from a stall with shovel in hand and his shirt unbuttoned and hanging down loosely from where it was tucked into his pants. Dirt and sweat coated his bare skin, and straw fell from his golden-brown hair as he ran his free hand through it.
He turned to Natura, “Oh,” he said, eyes wide. “Can I help you, Miss?”
Natura’s face burned. She turned her face away from the half-naked young man, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I’m, uhm.” She cleared her throat. “I’m looking for my horse.”
“One Erik just brought in? Yeah, right down here,” he said.
Natura turned her face slightly to glance back at the young man. His shovel was leaning against a stall door and his shirt was on; though, he seemed more interested in rolling the sleeves of the once-white shirt than he was in buttoning it to conceal his bare chest.
He looked up at Natura. “Is he one of these?” He pointed to the two stalls nearest him.
Natura walked towards him, as closest to the stalls as she could be without plastering herself to them. She peered into the stalls, glad to find Arian in the first.
“Hey there,” she said softly, reaching a hand in to stroke his nose.
“That’s one fine horse, Miss,” he said. He stepped up beside her, his chin resting on his hands on the end of the shovel in front of him. “And he’s a good bit calmer now that you’ve shown up. He seemed a little uneasy before; I was clearing out another stall for him, but he seems fine now.”
Arian stretched his head forward and nuzzled Natura’s cheek.
“I’m Rigel,” the young man said. He held a hand out toward Natura.
Natura looked up at him – he was taller than the average Icarthian man – and took his hand. It was rough, calloused from long days of working in the stables. “Natura,” she said. Her throat was dry, and her voice cracked as she spoke.
“Here to compete, Natura?” Rigel asked. He gripped the shovel under his chin, leaning towards her.
“No,” she said. “Business.”
“I see,” Rigel said. “Husband bring you along then? What’s his trade?”
“No, no husband,” Natura said quickly, waving a hand in front of her. “I help a shopkeeper in my village, and came along to pick up goods.”
Rigel raised an eyebrow. “A working girl, huh? A little rebellious are we?” He gave her a wink and laughed. His laugh was warm, inviting. Natura couldn’t help but laugh along. She laughed, shaking her head, and leaning against Arian’s stall, petting his nose.
“A working girl,” Rigel said again, quieter and more to himself this time. “I like it.”
He smiled at Natura. It was a warm smile, a smile that struck Natura with discomfort. “I should be going,” she said. “Work to do.”
“Oh yes, I ought to be disappearing as well,” Rigel said. “I’m not supposed to be working today, you see.”
He nodded respectfully to her as he backed away. “Nice meeting you, Natura.” He set his shovel against a stall, turned, and strode out of the stable.
End Tease
Haha, it's so much fun to put Natura in uncomfortable situations. She handles it splendidly, though. Pardon any suckishness of the tease, it's a first draft.
And Some Other Stuff
Last night I interviewed for a position on the staff of my campus' literary magazine. It's not like a paid thing or anything, but I really hope I get it. I think the interview went well, but who knows. I'll find out later this week.
Till whenever I decide to blog again,
-Lauren-
Sunday, September 5, 2010
National Suicide Prevention Week
September 5 - 11 is National Suicide Prevention Week.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.
In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15-44 (male and female). Suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
Although suicide rates have traditionally been highest amongst elderly males, rates among young people have been increasing to such an extent that they are now the group at highest risk in a third of all countries.
To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. This wednesday (September 8th) if you feel so inclined, write LOVE on your wrist/forearm as a form of recognition. Love is the movement, your compassion will spread.
*note* I'm not involved with TWLOHA directly, but this is a cause I really believe in. I actually didn't even know about this particular event until I was invited on Facebook to participate in writing LOVE on your arm this wednesday. Participate yourself and show your love if you would like, and if you are one that suffers from depression, addiction, self-injury, or thoughts of suicide know that you aren't alone and you are loved. I'll be writing LOVE on my arm this wednesday for you.
Love is the movement.
-Lauren-
Join the Facebook event here:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127318783982005&index=1
See the To Write Love On Her Arms website and read more about the movements vision and how it began: http://www.twloha.com/vision
All the facts I've included in this blog post were taken from the TWLOHA website.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that each year approximately one million people die from suicide, which represents a global mortality rate of 16 people per 100,000 or one death every 40 seconds. It is predicted that by 2020 the rate of death will increase to one every 20 seconds.
In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death among those aged 15-44 (male and female). Suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicides.
Although suicide rates have traditionally been highest amongst elderly males, rates among young people have been increasing to such an extent that they are now the group at highest risk in a third of all countries.
To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. This wednesday (September 8th) if you feel so inclined, write LOVE on your wrist/forearm as a form of recognition. Love is the movement, your compassion will spread.
*note* I'm not involved with TWLOHA directly, but this is a cause I really believe in. I actually didn't even know about this particular event until I was invited on Facebook to participate in writing LOVE on your arm this wednesday. Participate yourself and show your love if you would like, and if you are one that suffers from depression, addiction, self-injury, or thoughts of suicide know that you aren't alone and you are loved. I'll be writing LOVE on my arm this wednesday for you.
Love is the movement.
-Lauren-
Join the Facebook event here:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=127318783982005&index=1
See the To Write Love On Her Arms website and read more about the movements vision and how it began: http://www.twloha.com/vision
All the facts I've included in this blog post were taken from the TWLOHA website.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Ah, New Blog Smell
I've recently tired of my old blog. It became too cluttered with teenage angsting, and that's not something I wanted the world seeing. Thus, the new blog was born. (No, you may not see my old blog. It shall be destroyed as soon as I figure out how).
Hopefully, this new blog will inspire me to actually tell people I have a blog and therefore I'll be tempted to actually write blog posts and be an interesting individual.
Aren't you lucky, blog-reader-person, aren't you lucky.
I won't bother with any other introduction type details. It doesn't interest me, and it surely won't interest you.
'Till next time
-Lauren-
Hopefully, this new blog will inspire me to actually tell people I have a blog and therefore I'll be tempted to actually write blog posts and be an interesting individual.
Aren't you lucky, blog-reader-person, aren't you lucky.
I won't bother with any other introduction type details. It doesn't interest me, and it surely won't interest you.
'Till next time
-Lauren-
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